


Light

by rizuki



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Prompt Fill, post-episode 10 goodness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 22:02:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3504311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rizuki/pseuds/rizuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke makes Rin cry three times that day. Maybe Sousuke's decision to swim did more than just achieve his new dream - maybe it changed their relationship in more ways than he had yet to understand. (a tumblr prompt fill!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phoenicia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenicia/gifts).



> mienaihane said:  
> Sourin, 9. (things you said when i was crying)
> 
> yay, i hope this is okay :D

_I was finally able to find it._

 

Rin couldn’t get the words out of his head, nor the look of pure exhilaration deep within Sousuke’s teal eyes. Rin had felt lost in that intense gaze, unable to miss the pure unadulterated love that stared back at him. It was intense and he felt himself get swept away by it, so much so that it took a medical assistant’s hand on his arm to bring Rin back to reality.

 

He stepped back a little to let the medics do their work, nervously crossing his arms over his chest as he watched them tend to Sousuke’s shoulder. Rin’s lips pressed tightly together as he willed himself, _begged_ himself, not to get emotional and cry, not when Sousuke needed him. That was easier said than done however, when each sound of Sousuke groaning or crying out in pain as they moved his arm had him wanting to rush back to him and hold him tightly, but he’d just be in the way. Rin was fighting a losing battle against himself and he knew it.

 

“They’re saying it’s probably a torn rotator cuff,” Sugimoto said as he walked over to them, and Rin winced at his advisor’s words and tone of voice. “Did you know about this, Matsuoka?”

 

“Not until about an hour ago,” Rin replied, wishing that he sounded less guilty, but that was next to impossible with what he had heard. Sousuke’s recollection of what had happened to his shoulder to bring him to the present moment ran through Rin’s head and he couldn’t keep from mentally berating himself at having had allowed Sousuke to compete. But it was what he wanted, it was his dream. Rin of all people could understand that.

 

“He can’t lift his arm without crying out in excruciating pain. He’s probably going to need surgery, especially after this stunt.”

 

Rin felt a heavy tightness in his chest that began to restrict his breathing, as well as the sudden need to just sob or something, anything, to release the wave of stress he was feeling. Releasing his arms to his sides, Rin bowed in front of Sugimoto, eyes squeezed shut. “As captain I take full responsibility for what happened. I shouldn’t have let him compete. I should’ve been more adamant about using an alternate. I should’ve -- ”

 

“What you _should_ do is shut up,” muttered Sousuke through clenched teeth, and it caused both Rin and Sugimoto to look over at him, surprised to see Sousuke glaring in their direction, hands clenched into tight fists in his lap. “And what you _shouldn’t_ do is take responsibility for my actions. I chose to swim. I would not have taken no for an answer. There is not a single thing you could’ve said that would’ve made me change my mind, Rin. So stop taking the fall for me and get your ass over here, _captain_.”

 

Rin stood up straight, unable to tear his gaze away from Sousuke’s form. One of the medics was applying some sort of balm to Sousuke’s shoulder while the other was filling out paperwork on a clipboard, neither one paying any mind to the exchange of words happening before them. Rin gulped back the tears he felt and walked over to Sousuke, sitting down beside him on the bench where he was being worked on. Sugimoto followed him, mimicking Rin’s prior pose by crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at the two teenage boys, the disapproval clear as day on his face.

 

“I withheld the information from Rin, you, and the rest of the team this entire time,” Sousuke continued, pausing to let out a hiss of pain when the medic’s fingers moved over the center of his shoulder. “I only told them right before the relay. I have no regrets at all, I would do it again, however please forgive me for misleading you all and for causing Samezuka to lose.”

 

Rin’s lips parted and he made a move to speak, but one of Sousuke’s hands placed itself on his thigh and squeezed hard, fingers pushing roughly into firm muscle, stopping Rin in his tracks.

 

Sugimoto said nothing in reply at first, glancing between the two of them just before a smile found its way across his lips. He let out a sigh and slowly nodded his head before he finally spoke up to the two. “We lost by not even a nanosecond, Yamazaki. I don’t count that as a loss. Besides, the team is still going to nationals despite that performance. I fully comprehend why you were in Tokyo’s top ten. Injured or not, you’re a beast in the water.”

 

Sousuke and Rin snuck quick glances at each other before looking back up at Sugimoto, not sure how to take in his words.

 

“I’m going to check in with the team. I want a follow up on what the medics say when they’re done, Matsuoka, Yamazaki.”

 

“Y-yes sir,” both boys replied simultaneously, watching their advisor as he walked away from them to head back into the stands. 

 

Rin’s gaze returned to Sousuke the instant he heard a sharp gasp of breath from him and he slid in closer to Sousuke on the bench so their thighs were touching.

 

“You need to go to a hospital, kid,” the medic tending to his shoulder said. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to need surgery, the sooner the better. I wouldn’t delay it anymore than you clearly already have.”

 

Those words caused Rin to curse under his breath. Sousuke had been hiding this injury his entire high school career and kept pushing it and pushing it to the point of severe, agonizing pain. Could he ever use his arm again? Could he ever swim again?

 

Rin didn’t even notice he was shaking until Sousuke moved his hand from Rin’s thigh to his upper arm, giving a more gentle squeeze than he had before.

 

“It’s fine, Rin,” Sousuke spoke softly, “don’t worry about it.”

 

“How can I not worry?” Rin gasped out, his tears evident in his voice and how it broke. He gave up on hiding his emotions, unable to process how Sousuke was taking the news so indifferently. “How can I not worry? You’re hurt, Sousuke. You’re hurt and you need surgery and it’s because of me -- ”

 

“It is not because of you, so shut up.” Sousuke paused and squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a long, shaky breath as the medic tied an elastic bandage around his shoulder. “I did this to myself.”

 

Sousuke paused when the medic moved away from him, nodding to him in acknowledgement. “If you’ve got a shoulder brace, wear it for now. Put hot compresses on it, that works better for overworked muscles and chronic pain. No more swimming or working out for now, not until a doctor checks you out and gives you your next step.”

 

“Thank you,” Sousuke replied quietly, hanging his head when the two medics finally left his side. He had lost track of how long he was receiving care for - maybe half an hour? Forty-five minutes? With all of the pain he was feeling at being moved around, poked and prodded, it had felt like an eternity. 

 

The sound of Rin sniffling beside him caused him to raise his head, and he felt such a hard ache in his heart at the sight that sat beside him - single tears falling down Rin’s rosy cheeks and dripping down his chin, eyes glistening with more unshed tears, lips parted so Rin could let out puffs of breath which Sousuke could tell he was doing with the hopes of controlling himself. It made him smile faintly, a soft chuckle escaping him.

 

“This is the third time I’ve made you cry today, isn’t it?” Sousuke recounted sadly, reaching out to let his fingertips brush Rin’s tears away. “I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you cry.”

 

“I know that, you dumbass!” Rin exclaimed, unable to keep from sniffling. “I never wanted you to be hurt. I only ever wanted you to be happy, to succeed...”

 

“And I did that today, Rin.” Sousuke’s hand loosened its grip and slid down Rin’s arm until it was at his wrist, fingers gently rubbing the inside of Rin’s wrist with tiny strokes. “I succeeded in achieving my new dream, and it’s thanks to you. You, Nitori, and Mikoshiba. Like I told the medic, I have no regrets. If I must end my career, I wanted to on a high note...it can’t possibly get much higher than this.”

 

“You can’t...you can’t say embarrassing things like that! Not now!” Rin exclaimed, feeling a fresh set of tears fall down his face. “You were the best. You are _the best._ You wanted to stand on the international stage with me... and you would’ve, no, you _will._ ”

 

“Rin, it’s okay. It’s really okay.” Sousuke’s hand slid downward until his palm was resting over Rin’s, fingertips repeating the same slow strokes as they had prior on Rin’s wrist. “Swimming with you like this, it sparked something in me. After all these years, I finally understood all those romantic maniacal things you’ve been giving speeches on, even now. It was the biggest rush of adrenaline I had ever felt. It was the most alive I had ever felt.”

 

Rin’s gaze lowered to Sousuke’s right arm as it lingered motionless at Sousuke’s side. Even moving it an inch hurt, he assumed, so Sousuke kept it as still as possible.

 

“But you felt pain during it, didn’t you? You almost stopped in the middle of it. I wanted to jump in and help you...”

 

“And I would have kicked your ass from here to Australia if you did, so I’m glad your stupid worrying self didn’t do such a thing.” Sousuke chuckled. “After the turn, it felt like something snapped inside of it, like a rubber band. It was intense and I thought for sure I’d pass out, but something kept me going. Something pushed me through.”

 

“What?” Rin asked, and Sousuke felt his heart break at the sound of Rin’s voice. He leaned in closer to Rin, keeping mindful that they were out in the open where absolutely everyone could see them.

 

“You.”

 

Rin’s mouth opened to reply, but no words came out; he couldn’t find his voice to speak a single word or sentence, not with how surprised he felt at Sousuke’s confession.

 

“I heard you cry out for me. Despite what I said and what my goal was, I wanted to give in. I wanted to stop swimming and just rest and forget everything, just give in to the darkness that I could feel wanting to eat me whole. That’s how much it hurt. But then I heard you...faint, not all clear, muffled, but I heard you. It was as though you had lit a fire underneath me to not give in, not give up, not like that.”

 

Rin stared, mouth agape in bewilderment. Tears kept spilling from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks, but he couldn’t feel them anymore. Rin couldn’t even hear the roar of applause of the crowd as they cheered for the teams that were currently swimming behind them. He could see or hear anything other than Sousuke beside him on the bench on the sidelines. He wished that they were alone. “I... I...” he stumbled over his words, unsure how to get out what he was feeling, what he wanted to say.

 

Sousuke continued before Rin had a chance to settle his thoughts. “When I started swimming again, the pain was screaming at me, but every time I raised my head I could see you three get closer and closer. I could see _you_ becoming closer and closer, clearer and clearer. You were my light. You were this magnet that was pulling me in and bringing me home.”

 

“...and you say I’m the romantic swimming maniac,” Rin mumbled, causing Sousuke to laugh, loud and clear, and it was a sound that made Rin blush because of how rare it was.

 

“I was taught by the best.”

 

Rin smiled despite his tears, looking down into his lap to avoid having Sousuke see him cry any further. “You did that for me, too, in Australia. Whenever I felt lonely, I’d look out into the ocean because I knew you were on the other side of it. I knew you were working too, swimming too, and I wanted to make you proud. I felt like the biggest failure when I hit that wall... I didn’t dare contact you, how could I? I didn’t want to see or speak to any of you no matter how much you all meant to me... how much you meant to me, and how much you still do.”

 

Sousuke didn’t miss how Rin’s voice grew quieter as he spoke, and it caused his hand to go still in Rin’s, staying over it. 

 

“We’ve been keeping a lot from each other,” Rin pressed on. “I don’t want to do that anymore.” He raised his head, and Sousuke felt his smile grow at the pout that graced Rin’s lips, the blush that stained his cheeks, the tears in the corner of Rin’s eyes, threatening to fall at any given second. “I want to tell you everything, Sousuke. And I want you to feel comfortable with telling me everything, too.”

 

“I’d give you the world,” Sousuke breathed out, his gaze intense. He had never said anything with more truth behind it, and he could tell that Rin was aware of it. They stayed motionless on the bench, staring at each other with their hands still loosely over one another before Sugimoto’s voice rang out from a distance.

 

“Yamazaki! Matsuoka! Let’s not delay that hospital visit, we are going right now!”

 

Sousuke leaned in beside Rin, whispering in his ear. “We’ll talk later, yeah?”

 

Rin nodded before pushing himself back up to his feet, standing close to Sousuke as the taller boy stood up just in case he felt a sudden shockwave of pain and needed help of any kind. When Rin turned around, Sousuke reached for Rin’s shoulder to grab onto for a second to stop him from proceeding.

 

“Sousuke, what...?”

 

“Don’t cry for me anymore, Rin.” A shiver ran up Rin’s spine at how low and husky Sousuke’s voice sounded, and he wondered if he was near the verge of tears as well. “I never again want to be the reason that you cry.”

 

Rin grinned at Sousuke. “Then quit being an idiot,” he stated simply, his grin growing as he turned back around to walk toward where Sugimoto was waiting for them.

 

Sousuke could only chuckle. His left hand moved to grip onto his bandaged shoulder and he followed after Rin, mentally preparing himself for the hectic day that was ahead of him. Therapy, diagnosis, multiple conversations; it was going to be painful, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

 

Sousuke never felt more ready.

**Author's Note:**

> still taking prompts until midnight today [here!](http://apicturesquescore.tumblr.com/post/113017780148/send-me-a-ship-and-one-of-these-and-ill-write-a) :D feel free if you want~ i am having a lot of fun with these.
> 
> as always, thank you thank you thank you all for your kind words ♡ i appreciate them all so much.


End file.
